Saying Goodbye

I sit here and write this post tonight with mixed emotions and a heavy heart.  Yesterday, we admitted my precious Grandmother into the Hospice House to spend her final days on this earth.  She has fought and battled long and hard for the past four years.  She received the diagnosis of stomach cancer at the end of 2010.  She had a major surgery to remove most of it in February of 2011 and has been on chemo ever since.  She  is one amazing woman who I admire so much for her strength, courage and will to press on!

 She is not only beautiful on the outside, but even more so on the inside.  She and my Grandfather have been the cornerstone and backbone of the Henderson family! I have so many precious memories of being at their house and spending time her and them.  She could cook up a storm and loved doing it.  And we loved eating it!!  We've had holidays at their house every year for as long as I can remember.  She has been such an amazing source of encouragement and wisdom.  You always know that Grandma will be praying for you!!  She's always been so proud of her children, her grandchildren, and her family!

 Through many, many rounds of chemo, she has fought, and fought hard!  Always giving everything to the Lord!

 Her strength and spirit never cease to amaze me.

 Papa and Grandma have been married for nearly 59 years.  What a testament of true love they are!

 It breaks my heart more than anything to know that she will not meet our precious little boy on this side of heaven.  But I take comfort in knowing the joy that he has already brought  her.  She has prayed for us for so long to have a baby and knew the struggle we went through with infertility for two years.  She would always ask me about my appointments and I could always rest assured that she was praying for our precious child that we would one day have!

 The joy on her face when we announced that we were pregnant was truly priceless!  She was so happy and knew that the Lord had answered our prayers!

 The look on her face below is priceless!  She had been wanting us to have boy (and wore blue that night as her guess) and was right!!  We are having a little boy, and naming his middle name after my Grandfather, William!  She was so happy and it fills my heart with joy to see this picture and remember this night!

A few weeks ago, before she got really sick, Grandma told me that she wanted to buy Mason his bassinet.  And she also told Cathy that she wanted her to get him an outfit.  This is the outfit that was given to our sweet boy from her and he was given a bassinet from the two of them.  Two items that I will cherish forever!

As we prepare to say Goodbye to my Grandma, and welcome our precious son into this world within months of one another, my heart is full...full of sadness and full of joy!  Full of grief and full of rejoicing!  I never knew you could have such extreme emotions, all at this same time!  And though my Grandmother will not see this precious face on this side of heaven, I'm so thankful in God's promises that she will see him again, one day, and we will all be reunited together!  

Grandma, we love you more than you could ever imagine.  We thank you for all that you have ever done for us, all that you have taught us and most of all, for the love you've shown us.  We thank you for always being that example of  a Godly woman.  Thank you for always encouraging us, having faith in us, and above all, praying for us!  You can rest assured that Mason will know about you and love you, just as we do!  And as we prepare to say not Goodbye, but "See You Later," I pray peace and comfort over you!  Praying that the Lord surround you with His presence, and take all of your pain away!

About three weeks ago, we had a family cookout.  And at that cookout, my Grandma and Papa recorded a book for Mason, entitled "Wherever You are, my love will find You."  They each read a page, and though Grandma had to repeat after me, the sound of her sweet voice reading to my precious son is priceless gift, that I'll treasure forever!

"Wherever You Are, my Love will find You"

I wanted you more

than you ever will know,

so I sent love to follow

wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it.

It's quick as an elf.

You'll never outgrow it...

it stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...

climb up to the sky!

My love will find you.

My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!

My love will find you.  My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...

if you're working,

or playing,

or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy,

paint til you're blue...

There's no place, not one, that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely, 

or someday you're sad,

or you strike out at baseball,

or think you've been bad...

Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.

That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass...in the smell of the sea...

in the clouds floating by...

at the top of a tree...in the sound crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high

and don't be afraid

to march to the front

of your own parade.

If you're still my small babe

or you're all the way grown,

my promise to you

is you're never alone.

You are my angel, my darling,

my star...and my love will find you,

wherever you are.

~"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21~

31 Weeks

Today I am:

 31 Weeks!

Single digit count down now!!  Today, I also had my first baby shower.  It was a family/friends shower given by my Mother, Step-mom-Judy, sister in law, Shelley and by 4 of my best friends:  Amy, Kaci, Amanda and April!  It was such a special time, and I appreciate all that they did to make my day so very special.  We received a lot of great gifts for our little Mason!

 He is now the size of a head of lettuce.

 And this is what he is looking like in there!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along:  31 Weeks

Size of Baby:  a head of lettuce (18 inches, 3.2 lbs)

Most dramatic development this week:  All five senses are operational.  His eyes can perceive light and ears can distinguish sounds.  He is exploring with all of his new found senses.  Cerebral development is also in high gear.

Total weight gain:  15 lbs

Gender:  It's a BOY!

Movement:  He moves a lot and now we get to watch him move a lot too!  So fun!

Cravings:  Nothing in particular this week.  Ate a lot of good food during our "Babymoon" that must have satisfied those cravings.

Sick or queasy:  Had one morning of "morning sickness" but other than that, not much.

Symptoms:  Still some swelling in lower legs, ankles and feet.

Best moment of the week:  My first Baby shower!!  It was so special!

Looking forward to:  The rest of my showers this weekend and week and our 2nd try at the 3d/4d u/s.

~"If ye shall ask any thing in My name, I will do it."  John 14:14~

30 Weeks

Today I am:

 30 Weeks!!

Oh my..only 10 weeks left!

And we are at the beach for this 30 Week shot...wahoo!  We decided to go on a little getaway, to not only celebrate Josh's birthday, which is the 21st, but to also have a little Babymoon, our last little getaway together before our sweet boy arrives!  We came to Charleston and are staying with my brother and sister in law.  We are having a great time!

 Little man is now the size of a butternut squash!

 And this is what he is looking like in there.  Hopefully he is now head down.  We will know in a couple of weeks when we go for our 2nd 3d/4d u/s.

 Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along:  30 Weeks

Size of Baby:  A butternut squash (17 inches, 3.1 lbs)

Most dramatic development this week:  He will be gaining about .5 lbs/week now.  He will be growing thicker eye lashes, brows and hair on his head.  Baby's brain is also hard at work by developing more tissue with greater surface area.

Total weight gain:  14lbs

Gender:  It's a BOY!

Movement:  Oh yes.  And this week marks a another special week for us.  We actually saw my belly moving from the outside, as our little man was moving on the inside.  It was the neatest thing ever!  So now, every time he starts moving, I just want to watch my belly!

Cravings:  See below...SCORE!  I finally got some!

 Sick or queasy:  Been having a little morning sickness this week.  And still bad smells can throw me for a loop.

Symptoms:  I have started to notice a little swelling in my lower legs, ankles and feet.  It normally goes away after I sleep, rest or prop them up.  But other than that, I have been feeling pretty good!

Best moment of the week:  Well right now of course, while we are at the beach spending time together.  And seeing the baby move was pretty great too!  Also, Amy and I made a toys r us run, and we parked here.  I've wanted to park here for a long time :)

Looking forward to:  Finishing out the rest of our beach getaway and my upcoming showers!

~"Be glad and rejoice; for the Lord will do great things." Joel 2:21~

29 Weeks

Today I am:

 29 Weeks!!  

That is truly hard to believe!  It's passing by so fast now!  Today, was definitely the highlight of this week.  Some of my family and Josh's went to Baby Impressions for our 3D/4D ultrasound.  We were very excited and I was a little nervous, not sure why, but I was.  I couldn't wait to see our little man on that big screen again and for our family to get to see him as well.  But...he unfortunately didn't share in our enthusiasm..haha!  He was folded up like a pancake. He was literally in a "C" shape where his legs were up by his face.  And he was sort of lying transverse, which is like horizontal, in my belly.  Hopefully he is making his way to a head down position where he can stretch out those little..or maybe long..legs!  But we got a few small glimpses of that precious little face and saw his little nose.  It was no less a special time and I really enjoyed our families being together to share this with us.  We rescheduled in 2 weeks to try again.  After the u/s, we all went and ate at Fuddruckers.  It was a great day!!

 Our Mason is now the size of a "small" head of cabbage.

 And this is what he is looking like in there...well, not exactly!  He is actually not like that at all.  His head is in my upper right abdomen and his legs are in his face.  But hopefully he will be in this position soon.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along:  29 Weeks

Size of Baby:  A small head of cabbage (2.9 lbs, 17 inches)

Most dramatic development this week:  Baby is now is nearing his final birth length.  But still has a lot to gain as far as weight goes.  Over the next 11 weeks, he will double or triple his weight.  Baby is gaining "white" fat, which provides energy and girth.

Total weight gain:  11lbs at last office visit.

Gender:  It's a BOY!

Movement:  Lots of movement.  I feel more at night for sure.  I'm thinking he is going to be a night owl like his Mommy!  I love the evenings when Josh and I are both home and he lays beside me feeling his little son move all around.  Precious moments!

Cravings:  Doughnuts and Italian food.  I have not fulfilled the doughnut craving yet, but I have had Italian a few nights this week!

Sick or queasy:  Just once this week after eating too much too fast I believe.  But other than that, not much.

Symptoms:  Just a few aches and pains here and there.  My feet hurt when I wear flats and my lower back hurts when I've been up standing and walking for long periods, like for 12 hours at work.  But otherwise I feel pretty great!

Best moment of the Week:  Our 3d/4d Ultrasound by far!!

Looking forward to:  A little getaway that we are planning for next weekend! :)

~"Rejoice in all the good things the Lord your God has given to you."  Deuteronomy 26:11~

28 Weeks

Today I am: 

7 Months...or 28 Weeks pregnant!  

Hello THIRD trimester!!  Oh my...time slow down!

Whoa...this has been a busy, busy week!  After this week, I am pretty tired, and will be scheduling a massage asap. :)  We kept three precious little girls this past weekend, till Monday, while their mom was out of town and we had a blast. We really enjoyed keeping them and got in a lot of good practice :) And then I worked a couple nights.  On Friday, I had a big, busy day as well.  I had a doctor's appt with the dreaded glucose tolerance test, again.  I prepared better this time around by eating lower carbs up until the appt, but as always, the drink makes me feel awful.  It's so much sugar at one time.  I literally thought I was going to vomit and pass out all at the same time in the office, but thankfully didn't.  And the good news:  I PASSED!  YAY!  And the rest of the checkup looked good too.  My weight and b/p were great and his heart rate was in the 140's and strong!  I was so glad when it was over. I did get sick once I got to my car, but felt much better after and was so happy we had a good checkup.  After the appointment, I went home to get ready for Missy, our interior designer, to come and install the window treatments and bedding.  How exciting!  And it looks absolutely beautiful!  I was thrilled at how everything came together!  I'm going to do another post of the nursery when it is all completed, but will give a little sneak peak now.

   Tonight we had a cookout at my Grandma and Papa's house with all of our family.  It was so special to have everyone together to spend time with both of them.  My Grandmother is very sick and unfortunately declining fast, but still hanging in there and fighting strong like she always has through this long battle with cancer.  She did get to go outside for a few minutes and we cooked out hot dogs.  It was a special evening that I know we will all remember!

But back to the star of this show...Our little Mason man is now the size of a head of cauliflower.  He is getting bigger and stronger and his kicks are telling me that everyday! 

 And this is what he is looking like in there:

Getting a little more cramped but hopefully still comfy!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along:  28 Weeks and now in my THIRD trimester!

Size of Baby:  A Head of Cauliflower (16 inch, 2.5 lbs)

Most dramatic development this week:  Blinking!  Baby can now blink those sweet little eyes!

Total weight gain:  11 lbs at my last MD visit which was yesterday.  And I will now begin going to the MD every 2 weeks instead of 4.

Gender:  It's a BOY!

Movement:  Lots of kicks and rolls.  I love it!

Cravings:  Still nothing in particular.  I've been waiting for the whole pickles and ice cream thing to come, but it still hasn't.

Sick or queasy:  Just at my MD appt this week.

Symptoms:  Just really tired this week and a little low back pain.

Best Moment of the Week:  There were lots, but the best was spending time with my Grandma and family!

Looking forward to:  Our 3d/4d u/s next week!

~"Each day is a day that God has given us, and each moment of that day is in His hands."  Roy Lessin~