Forever By Your Side

"I have found the one whom my heart loves."-Song of Solomon 3:4

Marriage is truly a wonderful thing. A beautiful unity, that God created. And as wonderful as it is, it is not always easy. It is something, like a clay pot, that needs to be molded, worked on and from time to time, even re-shaped.
Josh and I dated in highschool and all through college. I knew early on that he was the man that God chose for me, and that I wanted to grow old with him. On December 2, 2006, 5 years ago today, Josh and I were married. We had a beautiful, fairy-tale wedding that was all my dreams come true. Our first 5 years of marriage have been nothing short of incredible. We have come through so much in such a short time. We have grown and matured, just as our relationship has. And just like the old clay pot on that potter's wheel, we have had to give our marriage to the Lord to be molded and re-shapep many, many times, to be in His image. I've never shared "our story" before, but I'm feeling led to today. I think a lot of people think we have the perfect marriage, that comes so easy and painless. And that is not the case. And though I do think we have an amazing marriage, that has not come easy and pain free. And to this day we have to work hard, together, while giving it all to the Lord, and that is what makes it all so amazing.

This is "Our Story." (I wrote it and sent it in to His Radio during their Love Dare Challenges.)

~February 2009: I never in a million years would have guessed that God would use such a small challenge in such a powerful way. My husband and I, after only being married just a little over 2 years hit a very difficult time in our short marriage. At the age of 25, I never thought I would be saying the words separation and divorce, but I was. My husband had decided that he no longer wanted to be with me. He was hurt, tired and worn down. This hit me like a brick. I didn't see it coming, and it left me feeling desperate, lonely and broken.

So I set off to try and resolve this big problem that we were facing, thinking that I just needed to stay in "control." I bought us books and we even went to Christian marriage counseling, but nothing, at the time seemed to be working, and despite all efforts, he still wanted out. Finally, my last effort to save our marriage was the Love Dare. I started it with a very heavy heart and a crushed spirit. I was devastated that this was happening to us and I couldn't believe that God was allowing it. Completing the dares and all the aspects that the dares entailed was a very difficult task when I wasn't getting anything back.

But then, I got the Dare about unconditional Love and my outlook changed. After reading that, I wanted to love my husband with "God's kind of Love"...Agape love, which is unconditional. And I set out to do just that. God showed me through that one Dare, and through many others along the way, that love is not determined by the one being loved, but rather by the one Choosing love. And the only way that love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. While on this journey, God showed me that I wasn't giving all of myself to Him and wasn't giving Him my very Best. I know that so many times I was leaving Him feeling broken and lonely, just as I was feeling. I wasn't letting Him take full control of my life and my marriage. He had to teach me that He loves us, not because we deserve it, but because He chooses to love us. He is the designer and maker of Agape Love. "We love, because He first loved us" which is laid out for us in 1 John 4:19.

Through all of this, I feel that His ultimate goal was to bring myself and my husband closer to Him, and that He did. My new life verse became "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding..in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 About two weeks ago, in the midst of continuing my Love Dare Challenges, my husband came home and as soon as I saw him, I knew that God had answered my prayers. He was a changed man of God. My miracle had arrived and God had mended my broken marriage. Josh told me that God had spoken to him in a mighty way and he knew that first and foremost, he wasn't where he needed to be with the Lord. He knew that he had a lot of work to do strengthening his relationship with Him. And secondly, he knew that I was the one that God had sent for him. And that he was ready to love me as God intended. Wow, I had been waiting to hear those words for what seemed like for ever! God is so good, and His grace and mercy is sufficient.

I know that we are not completely out of the woods, and we will have to work at our marriage for the rest of our lives, but I truly feel like we have put God back where he belongs, in the center of our lives and ,and in full control. I couldn't be more thankful to God for what all He has done and for the miracle he has performed in our lives! ~ And to Josh, my husband, my very best friend, let me remind you of the words I wrote nearly 3 years ago, that still ring true today. I thank you for the man you are. I thank you for being submissive to God's work in your life! I thank God for you everyday and for the joy you bring to my life! Know that your are my treasure, my priceless gift. I pray that we continue building our marriage on the firm foundation of the Lord and fill it with the Love of Christ...Agape Love. Let us never forget that we must always lead our hearts, choose to Love and give God full control! To God Be the Glory! Happy 5 Year Anniversary Babe! Always and Forever, I love YOU!!

"Forever by your side, wherever life may take us, whatever road we climb.....As long as we're together, All my dreams are satisfied and I'll be happy, Forever by your side...." Forever by Your Side-Eric and Leslie Ludy (an amazing song that was played in our wedding)